Stop Measuring NPS. Start Measuring Regret.

Let’s say it out loud: NPS is overrated. There. We said it.

Now, before the CX police come knocking, let’s be clear. The idea behind Net Promoter Score (NPS) is noble: to measure loyalty by asking customers how likely they are to recommend your brand. Cool in theory. But in real life? It’s become a lazy metric. A feel-good number. A corporate pacifier.

Because you know what question really matters?

Do your customers regret choosing you?

Not “would you recommend us?” but “was this experience worth your time, money, and trust?”

Because here’s the uncomfortable truth: someone might give you a 9 and still never come back.

The Problem With NPS: It’s Too Polite

People are nice. Sometimes too nice. Especially when asked directly.

They don’t want to hurt your feelings.

They click a 9 to be kind.

They say, “Sure, I’d recommend you,” and then… ghost you forever.

And the worst part? You think you’re doing great.

But behind that generous number is something unspoken:

·       Frustration that they didn’t share

·       Disappointment, they brushed off

·       Doubt they didn’t want to express

NPS doesn’t catch the emotionally unspoken exits.

Worse, it becomes a vanity metric. A number executives love to display in quarterly reports, preferably over a cortado with a side of self-congratulation.

It’s a shiny slide in a boardroom deck. “Look how loyal our customers are!” But no one’s asking why support tickets have doubled, why return rates are creeping up, or why churn feels like a leaky faucet.

NPS is great for bragging rights. But for transformation? For truth? For tough, meaningful, empathetic change?

It’s not enough.

Regret Is a Stronger Signal

Now let’s talk regret. It’s visceral. It sticks.

It activates the brain’s emotional circuitry, especially in the amygdala and anterior cingulate cortex.

While NPS measures intention, regret measures emotion.

And emotions are what actually drive behavior.

People don’t leave brands because they’re not logical. They leave because they don’t feel good staying.

Regret makes people whisper, “Next time, I’ll choose someone else.”

So why not ask the real question?

“If you could go back in time, would you still choose us?”

Or even better:

“Did we live up to the expectations you had when you trusted us with your money and time?”

Regret Reveals the Gap

What regret reveals is the empathy gap—the distance between what your customer hoped for and what they actually experienced.

It’s not about satisfaction.

It’s not even about performance.

It’s about disappointment. And disappointment is what kills loyalty.

Freud taught us that disappointment is the crack between fantasy and reality.

Adler would say it’s the moment someone feels unseen, unvalued.

And in business? That’s where the damage starts.

NPS is like checking if someone “might recommend you” while completely ignoring whether they secretly regret ever meeting you.

It’s like asking, “Do you like my party?” while your guest is already halfway out the door with their shoes in hand and a fake smile on their face.

How to Measure Regret

Here’s how you can start:

1. Ask the question directly

Use a follow-up to your standard survey:

·       “Do you regret choosing us for this service/product?”

·       “If you could go back, would you still make the same choice?”

Make it optional, anonymous, and emotional.

2. Track regret moments in support and reviews

Look for signals like:

·       “I wish I’d gone with…”

·       “Not worth it”

·       “I had high hopes, but…”

Use NLP tools to mine reviews and conversations for regret language.

3. Pair NPS with a “why” prompt that digs deeper

Instead of “What’s the reason for your score?” ask:

·       “What did we do that made you feel confident-or regretful—about your choice?”

Now you’re learning.

Why This Matters

We’re not saying you should throw NPS out the window (well, maybe just lean out a bit). We’re saying:

Stop chasing polite praise. Start investigating emotional truth.

Customers remember how they felt about the decision they made with you. Not how they rated you on a 0–10 scale.

Regret is powerful. And it’s honest.

You want transformation? Start with emotional honesty.

You want real insight? Stop asking for compliments.

Want to build better CX?

Don’t just ask if people would recommend you.

Ask if they’d choose you again.

The answers will change the way you serve.

📉 NPS gives you a number.

🧠 Regret gives you insight.

❤️ Insight gives you the chance to grow.

Time to stop hiding behind polite metrics. Time to feel what your customers actually feel.

Let’s start measuring what hurts—because that’s where healing begins.

#HXRevolution , #CustomerExperience , #CXTruth , #NPS , #Leadership , #EmotionsMatter , #Neuroscience , #Trust , #BeyondVanityMetrics , #TheH2HExperiment

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